It happened again...

The first time it happened I thought about posting, but by the time I got back to my apartment I decided that it wasn't significant enough to post about. Well, it happened again and so I've decided to post about it.

So what exactly is it? It... is this:

I went to the grocery store to buy some groceries and was filled with an overwhelming sense of disgust and betrayal. Not at people or the store, but at myself.

Like I said, this isn't the first time it has happened, and so I can't merely shrug it off as good old fashioned liberal guilt. I have to think about it, I have to deal with it, but how? Everyone has to buy groceries don't they?

The question is how do we buy groceries without participating in the sinful cycle that we call capitalism? How do we purchase milk without supporting the system that screws poor dairy farmers while huge coorporations get richer? How do I buy apples without supporting apple farmers who pay migrant farm workers wages that aren't enough to feed a dog on?

Yes, there are a few options like free-trade coffee (but I don't drink coffee), but not enough and these options are usually expensive. So how do I do these things while one a very limited grad school student budget?

And why do i feel this guilt when I buy groceries and not when I buy books or pay for my cell phone? I know these aren't exactly the same but they're close enough.

How do I stop supporting big business that does nothing but give poor people the shaft. And yet, if big business were to be completely eliminated then millions of people would be out of jobs and there would be even more people in poverty.

Is socialism the answer? How about communism? A drastic overhaul of capitalsim? Should I treat this like the "meat sacrificed to idols" in scripture? Should I stop asking questions and delight in ignorance? I'm not sure. I'm not educated economically or politically enough to give an intelligent answer or even know the full extent of the problem.

All I know is when I go to the grocery store I get disgusted and feel like I am betraying all of my convictions just by buying milk and vegtables.

I don't have an answer, nor do I have a soap-box to stand on, all I know is it's something I think about a lot and so I put it out there for you all to think about with me.

Shalom