Usually when I talk about movies on this blog it's because the movie spurred some theological pondering or something of that sort (like the half written post on penance in light of Seven Pounds and Gran Torino that I'm still trying to figure out how to finish before I post.) While my response to Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li doesn't really fit the mold I couldn't resist writing a quick blurb about it.
Let me start by saying that I wasn't expecting much. I've learned not to expect much from movies that are based on video games (though I'm still anxiously wanting someone to make a Madden Football movie...BOOM!). So when I say that this movie is probably the worst movie I've seen in my entire life I'm not just using hyperbole. I came in with very low expectations desiring nothing more than to have my nostalgic desire fulfilled. Instead I came away awestruck at how utterly bad the movie was. I really am speechless to describe this to you.
Well I guess I'm not entirely speechless or I wouldn't be writing this blog post. As I was sitting in the theater watching this monstrosity one thought consumed my mind, that this movie is just like listening to a bad sermon (now you see how it ties into my normal movie posts - if I've done one before, I'm second guessing myself now).
Maybe I'm just that much of a nerd, I've spend too much time in school and therefore have an overly critical approach to life, or maybe I've just given too many bad sermons and thus I know them intimately, but I swear the best critique of this movie, besides awful, is that it is just like a horrible sermon.
You know those sermons that have a couple salient ideas but they're utterly lost in the disconnected points and choppy deliver. The sermons that you can tell the preacher has spent his or her whole week thinking of an illustration just to lose all content. This movie was scattered, choppy, disconnected, confusing at times, contained unnecessary rabbit trails, lacked substance, and contained every other element that would make a sermon go from tolerable to utterly bad, or even shameful.
The move still would have been awful even if I spent my time leading up to movie playing Street Fighter on SNES. The nostalgia factor was the only thing that allowed me to sit through the movie and plow through my way-too-big bag of popcorn (I forgot that I normally buy a medium to split with Kristy, not just for myself). I do have to give them some props for getting Chun-Li into her video game outfit (or close to it) in a non-cheesy way and for having her do one of her special moves. They also made sure to say "Balrog" a million times which was sort of cool, though I would have much rather heard: "Sonic Boom!" or "Hadoken!" (sorry I couldn't find a good SNES one).
They left the movie with an obvious sequal in mind, speaking of Ryu and if they do I'm sure I'll go see it, I'm not sure why, but I probably will.
- Ben
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